???????????

看着自己的倒影，不断地浮现疑问

想着自己的一切，不断地反复质疑

问着自己的思想，不断地浮现答案

答着自己的问题，不断地重复回答

忽然间觉得自己很矛盾

究竟我想问自己什么而我想得到的答案是什么

我不懂

我对自己所作的一切都很质疑

我得不到自己的答案

我觉得很矛盾

我不知道自己的去向？我觉得我又开始地迷失自己

不懂～真的不懂！

吉隆坡下雪 黃明志 Snowing In KL by Namewee 黃明志好好野專輯終極主打

在高樓之間 空氣忽然冷卻

散落一地的是幸福的碎片

在城市裡面 我被熱鬧凸顯

凍僵的臉再也撐不起笑靨

一個人容易疲倦 睡了寂寞會不見

開著音樂 空氣才不會凝結

窗外濕冷的季節 包圍我的房間

我只能 顫抖著閉上 我雙眼

孤單的夜 連吉隆坡都下雪

失溫的心 抵抗不了這冬天

愛不在身邊 牽不到快樂越走越遠

被寂寞奪走 每一天每一夜

孤單的夜 連吉隆坡都下雪

層層堆疊 累積著我的抱怨

冷冷的傷感 不敢觸碰卻不斷蔓延

從指尖慢慢 一直冷 到心的最裡面

Tong Hua (童话) Cover - English/Chinese + Violin/Trumpet by Jason Chen & J...

Quite nice this version

I like the translation....the lyrics was perfectly match with the song

Feeling~

Stop...

Can i stop thinking of this stupid and foolish things?

why should i compare with others...

is that possible for me not to do so..

i will answer NO

i could not do so...i was a *KIA SU* people and i admitted...

although my friends doesn't do or say anything but my mine stab into my heart

and make me felt stress and pain

i cannot stop comparing myself with my frieds

i wonder why there are so many turning points and so many ordeal waiting for me..

and i need to pick one off over the hurdle...

Wao...it was so hard and tough.

actually,i envy  i jealous

i jealous my friends...although i can understand that some people suffer more than me

but the problems is i cannot control my mind not to compare with others

i wonder why they can walk easy than me.....they don't have much trouble and their life seem to be smooth and easy...

perhaps they do work hard on it....same to I...but the achievement are thousand miles far with what i had

yet we could not blame on it...

this was the destiny....God is fair....they will not give u 100%...

no matter how perfect you are...u still has 1% more to learn

this is the reality...i will accept it...

never mind...i firmly believe that is always the enemy of mankind himself .

no one can vanquish us except ourselves..

i will run to chase back the time i loss...

i will make the distance become 0 for the coming day...

watch out.....HEHHE ^^

2007 and 2010

It was an awesome night with the gather of all my lovely EX housemate...

miss u all so much and we had a long long time never gather together 

and gossip with each...

i love this feeling very much

they are so lovely and make flash back a lot of sweet memory 

when staying together...

we study overnight when exam at the corner

we will also hanging around the pasar malam every tuesday

for our dinner...

we sit together and watching drama (especially watching the korean show *love story*)

we all laughing together( until got ppl complain)...it was so nice....

some more pillow talk....chit chat together...

and sometimes will have a WAR between each....

u HATAM me...i HATAM u...so funny...it was so comfortable and relax when hanging out with the

HATam until others tenants knock the door and complain....we all not dare to open the gate 

and curi curi tengok from the hole....what a stupid action of us....HAHAHA

its was a sweet and warm memory for me

but compare now with last time...they didn't have big chances

the changes only is some of them already starting work hard for their own careers 

and some of them still continue further study..

wao....now is 2010 and the memory was 2007

so fast...3 year passed...

i felt glad that can stay together with all of u...

thx...love u all...

倪安東 - 散場的擁抱

～感动于歌词～

Anthony Neely 倪安東 - Sorry That I Loved You

For all of the time that i tried for your smile

For making you thing that i was worth the while

So your love love love love love would be mine

For sending your flowers and holding your hand

That no one was there to take u stand

But then love love love made us blind

And I'm so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you 

I'm sorry that it came true

But sorry do can't turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right
 

So sorry that i loved you

Sorry that i needed you

Sorry that i hold you tight

And I'm So sorry for...

Making you love me and saying goodbye

For being the one that taught you how to cry

It was love love love and it passed us by

For given you every thing that you dreamed

For taking it back when i fled the scenesorry love,for wasting your time

And I'm so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you 

I'm sorry that it came true

But sorry do can't turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right

I'm so sorry that i loved you

Sorry that i needed you

Sorry that i hold you tight

And apology now after all of this time

Won't make my difference tonight

But I'm hoping I'm Sorry will open your mind

To love love love love in your life

Sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I'm sorry that it came true

But sorry doesn't turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right

So sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I'm sorry that it came true

But sorry do can't turn back time

I'm sorry that i loved you

I'm sorry that i hurt you

I'm so sorry that i loved you

I'm sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i loved you

不公平

為什麼這世界都沒有公平的對待？
為何男生終是要讓女生？
為什麼女生生氣就是天經地義，而男生生氣就是小氣？
為何永遠都不能男女平等呢？
為什麼我到現在都無法得到一個完整的答案？
為何都不能一視同仁？
為什麼男生就要不女生付出得多？
為何男一定得讓女生？
為什麼當男生不願對女生屈服時就被關上不*gentleman*這字眼?
為何？為什麼？


為什麼大的得讓小的？
為何哥哥就應該讓弟弟？
為什麼姐姐也應該疼愛妹妹？
為何當弟弟妹妹欺負哥哥姐姐時就無關痛癢？
為什麼哥哥姐姐教訓弟弟妹妹時是欺負他們？
為何爸爸媽媽就要把好的留給小的？
為什麼？為何？




我真的覺得有時候這世界就是那麼的不公平
永遠都無法把兩邊的秤都擺在同一條平線？

林育羣-未來的第一站MV

Quite nice and comfortable....

不计较 与 不比较

无意间我读了一段短文

我个人觉得他写的很有意思

他说人的一生其实应该信任两种不同的教

如果是你，你会觉得是什么教

我呢觉得是睡觉和L教（^.^)

你觉得？

答案：

不计较 与 不比较

人活着其实真的有很多各式各样的欲望

欲望多了只会欲求不满

到了最后也许会演变成满足自己的欲望但伤害了别人

如果我们凡事不和别人做比较我们就不会欲求不满

所以做人其实应该懂得如何把自己缩小

我们得不断的缩小自己

小到能把自己放在别人的眼里

因为眼裡是容不下一顆沙子的

倘若能將自己縮小到放人眼中

                      让別人都能接納你，這樣才是真的會做人

                        世界这么大，每個人都有他的过人之处
                               如果我們不懂得缩小自己

       只是一味的觉得自己比別人厉害
这样永远都不會成功，
       永远都不会滿足，也不會快了 ....

满足与知足

漆黑的空间....微薄的光线

清醒的思绪..... 朦胧的双眼

疲惫的心灵灌于闲暇的凡体

我就总还是醒着 

不断重复想着今天所发生的事情

反省着自己的过错，也寻找着快乐的根源

但我发现其实我并不是那么的快乐

我也没什么值得快乐

也没什么值得不快乐，一天24小时无无聊聊的度过

我没有不快乐也许因为我懂的知足而乐

我有快乐因为我懂如何令自己满足而乐

一刹那的快乐是多么短暂

我只想快快乐乐

就足够了

A good friend is enough....

WAo.....impressive

the post was so nice...

i felt so touch while i reading the post from a guy 

regarding the sensation between his lovely housemates( a cute girl and a guy) and him

and he mention out all the minute between each

it was so sweet  

all those sweet & sour memory that he mention flashing thru my mind

i can imagine how lovely they are

 Well....i start rarely write out what he wrote

 The post started with few photos of them

from the photos u can saw that they had a lot of happiness in between

from their brilliant smile u can know how well they are

but when u start reading the post 

u will know that, the girl gonna leave them for her career 

and she will move out from the place

and the time the girl move out the writer was not at kl

he recorded a video clip for the girl and sang a song for the girl..

oo...he was such a gentle guy with a passionate heart...

omg....so sweet......cant tahan werrrr~

feel like wana share to my blog but its not good taking others people things

without any permission

but it was touch and nice..

such friendship really valuable..

hope they can keep it on..

good luck for them...

i do think they can do it...

although friend are not aside...but the heart is belong to each..

that is enough....

THinking....

*Cough Cough* 

I'm being attacked by Crystal Yuen Viruses

my body giving me the notice of illness

and my voice become so SEXY....

woohooo....

I am actually sick
Coughing, running nose, slight fever,sore throat

it's more than enough to kill me
I understand that I did not have enough rest recently

and that the reason i being attacked. 

A few days have insomnia
my mind like wavy storm....unstop rolling

keep on thinking about my future and others

how can i stop thinking of such rubbishs

why don't i just let it be and don't even think about it?

i can't...i become so stressful once i know that i could not do the things on plan..

it's just like a thousand gallons of cold water poured on me

from my head to my body..

i failed to implement my plan because of this

OMG....i keep on scratching my head

thinking of any best of both worlds method..

Sien...if there is no choice....just take this..

最高深的自私

不自不觉我开始从很讨厌一个人
变成有点恨他
毫无保留的讨厌因为她那份自私
无可否认每个人都有权利去自私但你那也许那么的过分了
完全没有经过大脑的言语
令人很讨厌
我开始很讨厌你了
别再妄想我会再帮你
我绝对不会
因为你那份从不懂的感恩的心
令人讨厌
我只能祝你好运
这一个不值得帮助的*朋友 *

CHeng YING bIRTHDAY

Clubbing........Alcohol............Crazy.........

                                loVE

Broga Hill

Woohoo...it was a long long time that i never been any of jungle tracking with my friends.
It was a wonderful memory with all my colleague on this trip
we had a great day and we enjoy it well..
Happy~

终于

为什么我那么的介怀

因为我在意或是我不甘心

不懂也不需要任何的解释

我不需要任何安慰的词语

也不用任何的道歉

我不希求任何的回报

我不需要那伪假的谢谢

因为我觉得不需要了

既然你的想法已经如此我也不必何求任何报答与感恩

我决定了

我不会再多帮你们

我觉得都够了

我无须被当做白痴

在为你们多浪费任何力气

你们已经学会了

我就是那么的多余了

再见

做回自己

 有人问我为什么把自己的部落格锁上？

其实只是有时不想给人开到自己无聊的抒发

也许因为无聊

但也许因为保留

没什么原因

也不需要什么交代

我只是随着自己的意愿去走

我要做我自己～

委屈

其实我真的不知道为什么从来没有人能够从我的方面去思考的呢？

为什么没有一个人能够充分的了解我吗？

也许是自己不喜欢把底牌掀开于人前吧

我不把自己难题告诉别人

所以在别人眼中我是没有什么问题

我的难言之隐有谁懂？是没有任何一个人

不管和我多么熟的亲人与朋友，一个都没有

为何我会觉得如此的委屈呢？

为何我需要去说谎？

为何我要用说谎来麻木自己？

为何没有人知道我的用意呢？

为何总被人埋怨呢？

为何我需要对人如此的妥协呢？

为何我不能坚决的说不呢？

为何我的不在别人眼中就是一份自私的举动？

为和？？？？？

其实我觉得他说的话是对的

我不会把一切分得清清楚楚

总是爱拖泥带水的我就是一个很严重的致命伤

也许关系不应该那么的密切

人与人之间应该保持一定的距离

才不会牵涉到人情债在你们眼里

我就是一个自私的人，但我想说的

当你觉得一个人是自私时，有没有想到你自己本身也是一个自私的人呢？

因为当你要判决一个人是自私时，你会用你自己的想法

那时你也是以自己的出发点去决定对于否

当你判定时，你本身自私的特质就会先露无疑

因为你有问过当事人真正的情况吗？

那有谁是公平的呢......???

The feeling of being rejected are totally bad..dam tired with this job
2day working at Tesco Kepong..
dam tired and i felt myself was totally exhausted today.
stand for the whole day with 16 achievement
and the refuse rate are thousand times more than the achievement
some of them will give a good smile while reject
and this still will make my feel better
but many of them with a Black face and keep on mention that they very busy
and some still ask us stay away from them
it really make me feel frustrated
i get almost 70 quota 2day..n we need to settle it by 4days
i dont think i can finish it in case of i still need to rush back to work on 7.30...
i need to achieve 9piece at 2hours
do u think it is possible?
erm....it really challenging
but if i never get reject...i can sure i will settle it on timeee~
god bless me lah....i wan finish it...i don't want to give any trouble for others people..
for bearing my Quota

11 AuGUSt 2010

Just listen on the music...it make me so comfortable

i get this song from a friend blog...

when the 1st time i listen to it...i had fall to it..

if u ask me why sure i could not explain to u

hence,i put it on my blog and share with u guy

the name of the music was KISS THE RAIN

when the moment i listen to this song...my mind recall back a lots of memory 

there are some with sadness but also some with sweet

those memory bearing as the witness of  time passed

when look backward, time really passed by just a blink of eye..

the life of childhood became a record in my mind that i would not forget

and wish to have second time in my life

this sort of life are very simple and naive

i don't have much pressure and any defiance

it's just a briefness life

yet, i could not catch back this kind of life..

perhaps older and older

problems become more and more..

and the lesson for me to learn now is how to handle it

i wish i got a brightening future

and i will try harder and harder to achieve my dreams

i will prove to myself

because i will be the eternal enemies

朋友的心声

这篇是我在我的死党的部落格里抄会来的

我觉得很有用意思

言语的描述

反映着你内心深处的心声

双眸也许能轻轻地闭上

但凌乱的思绪却难以安抚

紧绷的心跳依然耀跃拨动

沉重的灵魂狠狠压迫于肩

呼着零吸着碎的微薄空气

闭上憔悴的双眸...
平静凌乱的思绪....
安定紧绷的心跳...
解脱沉重的灵魂...
窒息接着深呼吸...
潜入心灵最深处...
发掘隐藏的心语...

8月8号...
今天恍然发现...
原来我早已把门关上...
原来我把心门上了锁...
钥匙埋葬于心底某处...

是我找不到心灵钥匙?
抑或我刻意把钥匙藏了起来?
是我被心门反锁在内?
抑或我刻意把心门关了起来?

也许适当的把钥匙隐藏起来， 可以避免受伤害...
但试问有多少人可以将这把钥匙掌控自如的运用?

上了锁的心门， 我不想打开...
藏于心的钥匙， 我不想找到...
自从那天以后， 我只想沉默...

或许最原始的我早已随钥匙双双被埋葬于心深处的某个角落...
我选择把心中的那扇门关上...

KANAsai

i do think that i had give myself a huge burden for myself..
and that will be the reason for me when my emotion had been influenced
i know my personality very well, i'm a person who kiasu..
i cannot accept myself weaken than others and i not willing to be the last
therefore i tried my best to catch up others footstep
i will try 2 chase back if i stay behind of someone
may be that is the motivation for me to continue with working while i m studying now
it's very tiring and sometime i cant even can sleep well
i feel vexed and stress
a big rock was hanging on my shoulder....
i m looking a method to release such pressure...

i m so tired..

Time-less

Wah..just 2 years time..
i felt that no matter on my appearance or heart or even mind
it had a huge changes

for me the changes is come from my heart
and pass it to my mind
and lastly it influence my appearance as well.
the reason i gave myself for such changes was I'm older and older

my heart become tough, my mind become mature and my look become UNCLE
haix...it remind me a Chinese proverb(岁月不留人）
which mean that time is wait for no one....time will never stop for anyone
and there are no excuse for any wastage youth time been
i wasted a lot of time
i keep on rotate in behalf of studies
haix..
now is time the time for me to chase back and get back what i lost
it's hard and tough
i can only tell myself
*Be patient*

silly post.....

woo....its has been more than 5month i didn't log in to my my blog.
long time i never write anything in my bloggie..
is that the time i should active it back?
meanwhile, i have no idea what to write and what to post?
i do think that the cells in my brain are fighting between each

HOO...HAAA......
it's make my brain locked
eventually, it blocked all the signal that suppose transfer to my hand
i stuck at there....
my hand can't even place smoothly at the keypad
my fingers keep on back and forth in between the backspace button
the feeling is not good at all.....keep on need to change and delete.
sienzzz...

STRESSS bcoz of this
STRESS bcoz of that

Cant anyone willing stop it for me?
(SOrry...no recompense)
Ngek ngekkk...

～我～

为何我那么的失败？我真的很累了
现在的我无法如常的使力
我尝试努力尽力用力地使力
但却有心无力～我还真的力不从心了
一切一切的压力仿佛把我推进了墙角
我找不到那个出口
我在我的生活里迷失了方向，自己一个人站在那儿悠悠荡荡
你们的一字一句，深深刻落于我的心

我仿似行尸走肉
没了我人生中的乐趣
我不再开心而开心也离我而去

我开始对世界陌生
我不再是我
而我也不是我
我是谁？

我……输了

终于释放了强忍的泪水
我再也抵挡不住了
这种异样的眼光与讽刺的笑话
一刀一刀地刺入我的心底
曾经告诉过自己的诺言
竟然被自己打破
我最终也输给了自己


我还是哭了！
我毫无保留的哭了

我再也受不了你们的一言一语
对你们而言
这种话语无伤大雅
但这却是我的死穴
而你们却一次又一次的插入
让我的心真的受伤了
我不能再忍受这种带有侮辱的话
我也有尊严的
我也希望被人尊重的
可是我盼的却不是我得到
我得到的只是那份仅仅的羞辱

我无法再把它当作是笑话
听了就忘掉
或勉勉强强地一笑而过
我执着与无谓的执着
喏我不为这种事情执着
我可能会比较开心
我也不会哭

我试着去改变
掩盖着大家对于我的看法
但还是失败

我开始放纵地颓废
我不管自己的外表
我放下我从前非常在意自己的仪容的观点
不管我的体型有反弹的现象
不在意自己的外表
头发散乱我也能忍受
我不再理会自己的言行举止
什么也不管就只是想换去你们旧有的眼光
但……

我的抵抗力已完全变成0
我彻底的输了
我输了给自己～

感触

现在已近凌晨2.30了但我刚到家
多几个小时就要出门了
我能不睡吗？
答案大概是不能～因为我真的很累
我只能睡大约4个小时
我在想我到地是机器人吗？我可以挨这样的生活吗？
每天定时定后我都到我做工处报到
虽然睡眠不足但还得挨
因为我没有钱
下个月就是农历新年了，我需要到很多钱
所以我只能拼命的工作
能赚多少就多少了

回过头看，其实我不禁不觉已经过了9个月的这种生活
我记得我从4月20日开始打工到现在
到了今天已近9个月
我已挨了将近1年了，时间真的过得很快
回想当初我的好友说我不到3个月就顶不顺这种被约束的生活
当初我自己也是这样觉得
可是我还是坚持下去。
其实我自己也搞不清楚我这份毅力是从哪来的？
但就是这股力量为我撑到现在

可能是觉得自己已经不像年少时那样的无知
在短短一年里我成长了许多
今年我已22岁了
我很希望为自己的家出一份力
虽然不称得上是那么的厉害
但至少我有学会了为我的家人付出
也体谅了赚钱的辛苦

现在的我不管多累也不会放弃
我要为我的将来打好固定的基础
好让我有美好的将来


耕落牢固的根基，付托未来
担上今日的疲惫，灌溉将来
咽于伤心的无奈，迎接未来
乐于一切的失获，等待将来

2010 第一篇

度过了2009……而2010 面对的挑战因该比以往来的多吧
2009……发生了很多事情，但开心和不开心的对比真的差出一段距离
开心：伤心 = 1：10
这年里我觉得最开心的事就是我比以往成熟了很多很多
不知道是否经历过了许多不同的历练，自己的思想与行为有了360度的转变
变化的好坏在于不同人不同的观念，好与坏就见仁见智
对我而言我无法做出100%真确的评估这转变
但我只能说的是在今年里我过得很充实
我学会了许多不同的东西

今年我大部分的时间都在工作中度过
出去的时间变得很少
花钱也比以往来的更谨慎
买什么用什么都经过慎长的考虑
因为现在用的一分一毫都是自己辛辛苦苦的赚回来
我在一间餐馆里打工，我大部分都负责在吧台里弄饮料
有咖啡，鸡尾酒还有许多不一样的饮品
我每天的工作就是拼命的站在哪儿
洗杯子，弄饮料，招呼客人
我的一班战友的工作就是服务人员 （Service Crew）
在那些人眼里，我们的工作感觉就是那么的低微
但我们自己还是应以为傲
因为我们都是靠自己的汗水去努力地服务。

虽然他们的对我们不礼貌或是以为自己是消费者就能对我们呼喝
但我们还得吞气忍声
因为身位服务员的宗旨就是以客户为先
不管你被骂得狗血淋头，脸上的笑容总不可缺
你不觉得自己做错但还是一样要很谦卑地向客人道歉
要不然就被人投诉说我们的态度不好

经历了许多跌跌撞撞
感觉就像上天给自己的磨练
对于不同的磨炼我都得努力迎接，全单接受
当你成功的同时这些历练将会是你人身中的一个启示
开拓你成功之门的其中一把钥匙


人不能永远当温室里的小花而被呵护得成长
人应该学习随处可见的杂草
它们那股顽抗的生命力
就是做人该有的动力
它们不畏风雨的精神也是我们该有的精神

～*颓废的沉淀，崭新的蜕变*～
~*无畏的倔强，奋力的开拓*~